Speaking your child's love language

Have you ever noticed the bookshelf inside the lower lobby? That bookshelf holds a few books that you might find interesting. But it's hard to find time on Sunday mornings to browse through books, so from time to time I'm going to highlight one of them and let you know what it's about! Feel free to take one home and browse through it-there's a sign-out sheet located on the shelf. Use them as one more tool in your parenting toolbelt!

First up is one of my favorites for kids AND adults. When Bryan and I got engaged I read a book by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell that introduced the idea that everyone has a love language-a way in which they understand love the best. Basically they break it down into five languages:

Physical Touch: person feels love primarily through touch
Words of Affirmation:  person feels love primarily through words
Quality Time: person feels love primarily through spending time with them
Gifts: person feels love primarily through receiving gifts
Acts of Service: person feels love primarily through things done for them

I like to analyze things so I immediately got to work analyzing my love language as well as Bryan's (poor guy, he didn't stand a chance). I found the idea to be pretty true in our lives and was interested to recently find a version for children from the same authors titled The five Love Languages of Children.

I was a little skeptical at first, since children are obviously not adults and grow and change constantly. However I took a look and could definitely see my children in the love languages they talk about. Ben is all about quality time, has been since the day he was born. He would be perfectly happy to never have to be alone again-playing with mom and dad is his favorite thing to do. Knowing that this is his love language I try to "schedule" time to do nothing but play with him. Seeing his whole face light up in those moments makes it all worth it, even though it is inconvenient at times. Luke is young yet, but I can definitely see some pull towards physical touch. He loves to snuggle and is constantly hugging his brother and Bryan and I. It will be interesting to see if that changes at all as he gets older.

So where do you think your kids fall? The authors explain each love language in detail in the book,and also share some insightful thoughts connecting love languages to discipline and learning. It might be worth your while to check it out when you get a chance.